A Moral Confession I

Christianity has devised an excellent way to remorse. Confession. As per their tenet, one has to confess their crime and you will be forgiven by the almighty. I find it a better way than taking a dip into the holy Ganges. Take a dip into the Ganges and your sins will be dissolved. Does it sound sensible? Is the water of "the holy Ganges" a solvent for sins? So what amount of solute can be dissolved in it? Infinite!! Though chemistry contradicts this principle but we cannot question religious belief. At the same time, we are not forced to believe it or follow it. We can devise our own ways or opt one out of the prevailing options. As I find the Christian's way an appropriate one. I go for it.
What can be a better place than the World wide web to confession something. The time one goes to church he shares his misdeed with a gospel. While I am sharing it with the whole world. Yes today I am going to confess a very old crime committed by me. At that time I neither had an idea about the strength of truth nor about the resentment of immoral activities.


I was in class fourth. Since my childhood, I am a poor student (in terms of academics). Sometimes, some of my friends who are not performing well at present say that they were very good students in their respective schools. This institute could not recognize their talents and they have suffered. Once when I was in class third, a very close friend of mine told me that he used to stand first when he was in lower kindergarten. After that something happened to him, he might have faced some hardship (I do not think it would be due to a girl because at our time kids were not smart enough to capitalise on the opportunities they get during their childhood) and he started getting two or three crosses (In our school when someone fails to get forty out of hundred teachers call it a cross and love to humiliate the student) on an average in every exam. But I never had such a history. I have never been a source of inspiration for anyone. During my schooldays, alok was a synonym for born-looser. In the beginning, teachers always got a good start for themselves. As on the basis of roll number, I was among the first four students of my class (I really enjoyed to be among the privelegeds, all due to my parents who christened me alok, all due to the alphabet 'A' ). On every judgement day, I was the first who was beaten like anything. Believe it or not they used to beat black and blue. But after few days, I started getting concessions in punishments. Most probably they would have incurred the belief that my personality could not imbibe even a single sign of civilization.

But a new thing started. Now the teachers started sketching my personality as an adult franchise. I had big dreams and I was very sure that at 20 I would conquer the world. But my teachers had no clue of my future plans and according to them my present performance was the mirror image of my future (at that time i did not know that it would be a virtual image). They designed a time machine and offered free rides to me now and then. They had shown me my future. What I would be doing after 15 years, what sort of defame I would be claiming, how much grief my parents had to bear due to me and all that. Though they did it with an honorable intention, I was too immature to understand its implications. They used to reiterating the same lines whenever they got a chance to talk about me. Their endeavours did not go in vain within few days my dreams started shattering. I could figure out the crisis. I could not sleep properly neither in classroom nor at home. Nightmares!! I was sitting in the examination hall and I did not know even a single answer. My friends were scribbling incessantly. I woke up and found myself in my bed. I realised that it was a nightmare and took a deep breath. It had become a regular show. As regular as the Saas-bahu soap at star plus.It became clear to me that I need improvement. Now the question was how? How could I improve myself? One day I was sleeping in the night and after a routined late-night-nightmare-show I woke up. I tried to remember about the dream (it had some pleasant contents), I remembered that I got a chirag. It was akin to that of Aladin. I rubbed the chirag. Jeenie appeared. I asked him to perform some task which i exactly did not remember (but i am very much sure it was not an illicit task,as I do not want a supernatural to be my accomplice, they are made for bigger jobs). Jeenie disappeared and before he could reappear I woke up. I regretted for not being that lucky to get a chirag. I have a tendency to blame my fate for anything and everything which goes wrong with me.

I knew that the chirag was not a practical solution for getting rid from the present crisis. Its time to amend myself. Though I knew that it would demand great conviction, I was determined. No more knee-downs, no more hands-ups, no more get-out-of-the-class, no more insults, no more moral lectures, No more insinuations no more that lethargic-irregular-careless-shameless worthless alok.