What's my hobby?
This is a question which I might have asked myself several times and most probably the first time was when I was in class seventh and was introduced to the concept of slam book. At that time, in a desperation to be cool, without giving it a proper thought I just scribbled something cool and I am still ashamed of my answer. It was - Bathing. Probably I took slam literally and went for a loud answer.
I faced the question time and again and every time I faced the same dilemma. Was there really anything worth compromising the comforts of leisure? The answer was - "who cares!" And with time, it became a self-addressed-rhetorical-question. My head had been trained to coin something which was in sync with the newest trend and cool! So, now I was prepared to take this question head-on. Be it my social network profiles or personal detail form, I always had my answer. Was it adrenaline or my perception of being-cool, I still do not know, most of my answers had something to do with sports. When in year 2000, Azharuddin ,who was my favourite cricketer (read sports person), was booked under the charge of match-fixing, I was completely taken aback. But thanks to the world which was so very full of cool stuffs, it hardly took me any time to get a central idea for my cool hobby.
But life is cruel and at some point in time one realises that ones pursuit of being cool has no meaning and it is nothing but a trick to maintain distance from reality. So, does it mean that reality cannot be cool? Well, that's a different discussion but yes one thing I would like to say that cool is a short-lived sensation where reality lingers.
When I had my realisation that my pursuit of being cool had no meaning, I was so heartbroken. How come the "me", I was so much in love with, could disappear all of a sudden! And the reason behind this absconding was no one but my own realisation. It took quite some time to recover. And after the recovery, those questions which were swept under the carpet of coolness made re-entry. Few in disguise, few as it is. Among all those was the one which was going to remind me a lot of my being-cool days. The days when I could be blatant and at times even shameless. What's my hobby?
Again I asked the same question, what was worth the comforts of my leisure and this time the answer was -"No idea, just wait and watch". I did not have scarcity of time but waiting being inherently boring, I thought of cultivating some hobbies. Though I had my realisation that there was nothing like cool and it was all about your likings but in my case as I had no liking so the cool made a come back and influenced my choice. Reading, writing, photography...oh, I loved all! There was so much to read, so much to write and so much to portray. I was excited about finally getting some hobby and decided to pursue those religiously. In the beginning, it was fun. I could get to read whatever I wished for. Thanks to blogs. I could write whatever I wanted to. Thanks again to blog. I could click whatever I desired for. Thanks to technology for coming up with cheap digital cameras. But these all were short-lived sensations and when I could afford to be critical about my writing and photography, I realised just one thing creativity required something more than just a need to cultivate hobby. The only thing which I could continue with was reading. But without a desire to know anything it was difficult to read. Would Antony get Cleopatra, how did it matter to me? How did Gregor Samsa transform in a horrible vermin, even Kafka did not know so how did I? How justified was Afganistan attack, how could I know or why did I even need to know? So, reading also succumbed.
So, what's the status as of now? Do I have an answer of the big question? No, I do not have. I thank my job for robbing of my leisures and somehow helping me in postponing the act of cultivating a hobby. But someday I will definitely have a hobby. Till then, let's have a hobby free life; after all hobby is not the license to breathe!
