A Moral Confession II

It is the second part of 'The Moral Confession'.

Yes, the new alok was born! If rahul, rajesh, ravi, abhishek, rishi, aparna, somuya, pallavi, neha could do it why could not I? Probably it was the first time in my life I witnessed the strength of positive attitude। I started taking interest in my classes। I started solving sums. I found that it was not difficult to synchronizing with the teachers. The class was full of dumb students and the teachers really tried hard to help them, to make them understand. I was better than few of them and started picking up pace. I was changing and it had become a source of happiness for me. Though I tried really hard to get noticed by the teachers, it was very difficult. They always had time for the toppers or the dumbos. Mediocres were neglected. I do not blame them I had not done anything praiseworthy as Hrithik Roshan of koi mil gaya did(told some DOS command to his teacher which was not taught to him). And the day I asked my father to buy a new pen for me he was surpried. I hardly demanded any stationery in the last five years. I did not demand even sketch pens as most of the kids do in their kindergartens. At that time Reynolds was launched and I had a crush on it. After all I started studying!! My family members noticed the change within me. Though they did not tell anything I knew they were happy with it.


One day my English teacher called me to the staff room. She was our class teacher. It was the 4th day of the month and I knew that she would discuss my academic report with me. At the end of every month, our respected teachers used to give feedbacks to our class teacher and on the basis of these feedbacks she used to evaluate our class performance. And then one week before parents-teachers meet she used to discuss the report with us. It was her routined job. She wanted to keep an eye on our class performance. Being a class teacher it was her duty and she performed it pretty well. I knew she would diliver the same old speech. "Importance of Education in Our Life." In the last 2 years, I had heard it 20 times. I was quite nervous. As my last encounter with her were not inspiring. She always showed a great concern for our academics. And I did not like it. If I was not doing my maths assignment; why she was getting perturbed? I used to do her assignment religiously. I always wanted to get a good impression in her eyes. I do not know why? But she was the only teacher who made education a sensible thing for me. I could never understand the benefits of education. But she proved its strength for me. I praised her but I was not impressed to such an extent that I had started following her footsteps. Sorry!! I was not prepared for it. The time when she used to talk to me about my academics, a nuclear power plant was installed within me. Her socio-moral lectures were not less than feasible uranium. Its uncontrolled chain reaction filled me with a sense of accountability. I started considering myself as the most important identity of the world. I could visualise my involvement in all sort of development projects. This world could not exist without my presence.It could not progress without my involvement. After every meeting I tried to be sincere and honest. I wanted to contribute to the society. But it was really a tough job. After two days the same old story. All inspirations were vapourised. My friends used to tell me that moral lectures were the most volatile object. I do not know were they right or not? But these lectures can be absorbed easily when it is mixed with a pinch of shame.
I had no another option. So I went to the staff room.
"May I come in mam" I asked.
"oh!!! allllooook come in." She said.
"How are you doing?" She asked.
"mam meeeee...." I asked.
"Yes you!!" she said.
"Mam actually I am feeling well from last few days." I said.
"Why"she asked "I have heard something about you."
"maammm about myself!!!" I said. I was very nervous.
"Alok I am talking to you; am not I?" she interrogated.
"This time teachers have told me that you were taking interest in their classes. You are also doing your assignments regularly." she said.
"But mam!! I always do your assignments. I have written all the essays and letters." I said excitedly.
"yes because you think that I am your class teacher and if you do not complete my assignments, I'll inform your parents about your irregularity." She said. "look, I have every information. What are you doing in others class...what are in doing in recess time ...everything."
I wanted to tell that that it was not the fear of my parents but her attitude which was forcing me to do her assignments. But I could not tell it. I did not know how to say these lines.
After that she informed me about my feedbacks she had got from other teachers. I could witness that she was not complaining. She was happy from the changed alok but she did not want to pronounce it. As it could lead to complacency. But her eloquent smile had communicated everything to me. I was very happy as it was my target to impress my teachers and on the top my english teacher and I had succeeded. Mission Acomplished.

A Moral Confession I

Christianity has devised an excellent way to remorse. Confession. As per their tenet, one has to confess their crime and you will be forgiven by the almighty. I find it a better way than taking a dip into the holy Ganges. Take a dip into the Ganges and your sins will be dissolved. Does it sound sensible? Is the water of "the holy Ganges" a solvent for sins? So what amount of solute can be dissolved in it? Infinite!! Though chemistry contradicts this principle but we cannot question religious belief. At the same time, we are not forced to believe it or follow it. We can devise our own ways or opt one out of the prevailing options. As I find the Christian's way an appropriate one. I go for it.
What can be a better place than the World wide web to confession something. The time one goes to church he shares his misdeed with a gospel. While I am sharing it with the whole world. Yes today I am going to confess a very old crime committed by me. At that time I neither had an idea about the strength of truth nor about the resentment of immoral activities.


I was in class fourth. Since my childhood, I am a poor student (in terms of academics). Sometimes, some of my friends who are not performing well at present say that they were very good students in their respective schools. This institute could not recognize their talents and they have suffered. Once when I was in class third, a very close friend of mine told me that he used to stand first when he was in lower kindergarten. After that something happened to him, he might have faced some hardship (I do not think it would be due to a girl because at our time kids were not smart enough to capitalise on the opportunities they get during their childhood) and he started getting two or three crosses (In our school when someone fails to get forty out of hundred teachers call it a cross and love to humiliate the student) on an average in every exam. But I never had such a history. I have never been a source of inspiration for anyone. During my schooldays, alok was a synonym for born-looser. In the beginning, teachers always got a good start for themselves. As on the basis of roll number, I was among the first four students of my class (I really enjoyed to be among the privelegeds, all due to my parents who christened me alok, all due to the alphabet 'A' ). On every judgement day, I was the first who was beaten like anything. Believe it or not they used to beat black and blue. But after few days, I started getting concessions in punishments. Most probably they would have incurred the belief that my personality could not imbibe even a single sign of civilization.

But a new thing started. Now the teachers started sketching my personality as an adult franchise. I had big dreams and I was very sure that at 20 I would conquer the world. But my teachers had no clue of my future plans and according to them my present performance was the mirror image of my future (at that time i did not know that it would be a virtual image). They designed a time machine and offered free rides to me now and then. They had shown me my future. What I would be doing after 15 years, what sort of defame I would be claiming, how much grief my parents had to bear due to me and all that. Though they did it with an honorable intention, I was too immature to understand its implications. They used to reiterating the same lines whenever they got a chance to talk about me. Their endeavours did not go in vain within few days my dreams started shattering. I could figure out the crisis. I could not sleep properly neither in classroom nor at home. Nightmares!! I was sitting in the examination hall and I did not know even a single answer. My friends were scribbling incessantly. I woke up and found myself in my bed. I realised that it was a nightmare and took a deep breath. It had become a regular show. As regular as the Saas-bahu soap at star plus.It became clear to me that I need improvement. Now the question was how? How could I improve myself? One day I was sleeping in the night and after a routined late-night-nightmare-show I woke up. I tried to remember about the dream (it had some pleasant contents), I remembered that I got a chirag. It was akin to that of Aladin. I rubbed the chirag. Jeenie appeared. I asked him to perform some task which i exactly did not remember (but i am very much sure it was not an illicit task,as I do not want a supernatural to be my accomplice, they are made for bigger jobs). Jeenie disappeared and before he could reappear I woke up. I regretted for not being that lucky to get a chirag. I have a tendency to blame my fate for anything and everything which goes wrong with me.

I knew that the chirag was not a practical solution for getting rid from the present crisis. Its time to amend myself. Though I knew that it would demand great conviction, I was determined. No more knee-downs, no more hands-ups, no more get-out-of-the-class, no more insults, no more moral lectures, No more insinuations no more that lethargic-irregular-careless-shameless worthless alok.